Sarcastic Comments on Quotes from the World’s Greatest Hedge Fund Managers and Investors

Here is a great collection of quotes (with my sarcastic comments) from some of the world’s greatest investors at Addicted2Success:

Warren Buffett (Net Worth $39 Billion) – “‘Price is what you pay; value is what you get.’ Whether we’re talking about socks or stocks, I like buying quality merchandise when it is marked down.” [But a tax payer funded bailout like in 2008 doesn’t hurt.]

George Soros (Net Worth $22 Billion) – ”I’m only rich because I know when I’m wrong…I basically have survived by recognizing my mistakes.” [And Soros is wrong a lot, his win rate is something like 30%. But when he is right, man, he is right. He goes for the jugular as evidenced when he shorted the pound.]

Carl Icahn (Net Worth $13 Billion) – “You learn in this business: If you want a friend, get a dog” [I bet $13 billion buys a very impressive dog.]

Ray Dalio (Net Worth $6.5 Billion) – “More than anything else, what differentiates people who live up to their potential from those who don’t is a willingness to look at themselves and others objectively.” [Okay, but if your potential is 10 out of 100, objectivity might not help you so much.]

Carlos Slim (Net Worth $69 Billion) – “Anyone who is not investing now is missing a tremendous opportunity.” [Um, yeah. An opportunity to watch your wealth get vaporized or an opportunity to make money?]

David Tepper (Net Worth $5 Billion) – “This company looks cheap, that company looks cheap, but the overall economy could completely screw it up. The key is to wait. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to do nothing.” [At least until the Fed has got your back. BTFD. If there’s good economic news you make money. If there’s bad news, the Fed will ease and you will make money. You can’t lose. At least I think that was his thesis.”

Peter Lynch (Net Worth $352 Million) – “I think you have to learn that there’s a company behind every stock, and that there’s only one real reason why stocks go up. Companies go from doing poorly to doing well or small companies grow to large companies.” [No the Fed printing dollars has nothing to do with stock prices going up. If we were suddenly given $10 for every $1 in our pocket stock prices wouldn’t go up. Stock prices only respond to earnings growth. No sir, nothing else.]

John Templeton (Net Worth $20 Billion)– “The time of maximum pessimism is the best time to buy and the time of maximum optimism is the best time to sell.” [But the real secret is knowing when these times have been reached. If you are a pessimist, things may look bad, but they can always get worse. And if you are an optimist, things may look good, but they can always get better.]